Dwarven Warriors 4: Organizers Report

There is a place of romance and decadence, beyond jubilation and wistfulness, lost in the intersection between cognition and subconscious. Those of us with bad pronunciation call this magical place "4,000". Submitted for your approval, the Magistroi of 4,000, Mr. Erwin Demmer. This is his story from the fourth time the dwarfs gathered at his home to wage war. /Mg out

Class of ‘69

DWC started this year the week before the real start. On Saturday Juan and his lovely lady Helena (which he met a day after DWC last year) came with my biggest Spanish friend Purple. They blew me away with some awesome DWC merchandise. Even 36 beer glasses with on the bottom a double-sided sticker from a Dwarven Warrior. How cool is that?!? I was already in awe, but they blew me away with a playmat featuring MYSELF carrying the flag of 4000. :) :) Wow, wow, wow, this is too much, and the weekend is just beginning! CHEERS!

What a dedication from my Spanish Friends! Beer coasters, stickers, beer glasses and beer openers.

Playmat amigo speciale!

We had a great evening and after I beat Purple with darts, they left to come back next Friday.

Friday, 2:30 in the afternoon: The first person arrives, it's Robbie who had a 5 hour bicycle tour in his legs.

Joop Zoetemelk

We took a beer and the party started. Normally i don't drink that early because my little girl Tess and me were supposed to pick up Magnus from Schiphol. Unfortunately, just like last year a lot of friends from abroad couldn't make it because of Corona. This time it's extra hard on Magnus because he already bought the tickets.

A few hours later more friends are entering 4000. Roy arrives with Peter who carries along all the stuff that Robbie couldn't bring on his bike. The door opens again and there are Dyan, Wilfred, Edo, Anies and his pretty Redhead Tamara, including their cool son Amon.

More people join: Juan, Helena, Jordy, Lluís and the Cramer brothers.

So on Friday night, more than half of all the players are already there. A bit later in the evening, the Friday night gathering is complete with my German friend Michael Schroers from Rhineland Avengers joining us. He disrupted his vacation and traveled 1500km by car and train to shine in 4000!

All the cool stuff from Michael

During the evening Purple is earning the medal for making "The best Mojito in town" and taps all the beers that are needed. Thank God, we have Purple! Some players sling their first cards of the weekend, others just enjoy being among other people again, after being locked down for so long.  I myself didn't touch a single card. I absorb the feeling of the evening, and smile. When the clock hits 5 a.m. i doubt to go to bed or stay up until the sun breaks through for morning. But while I swing my last beer, and the last people are hitting for bed, I also drag myself up the stairs. Let's call it a night. A good night!

Our house has been taken over by 6 guests, so our two kids sleep in our room. And no, they don't sleep in. .. So with about two hours of sleep, Tess is jumping on the bed and Huub is shouting: out! out! Okay… DWC tournament day is starting early :)

After a good breakfast prepared by my wife Marijke, the other players arrive. Some chip in for a late breakfast snatch, while others get beer. (yes, or coffee.. there IS a choice) I still have to sleeve my cards and regret not doing it yesterday. With shaky hands it's more like an Olympic sport. But I managed it and this pile must finds its way to the top 8.

Perverse Damage - Erwin Demmer

After a speech from the wife and a glass beer from Purple it's on! The first round I'm paired against Chefke, the organizer of The Erg Raiders Cup and fastest subtitler from Holland.

Before we start we first refill our glass, that's the kind of opponent I wish. He starts the game with swamp-Dark ritual- Dark ritual- Royal Assassin- Black Knight. I open with Plains-Sol Ring. Chefke plays Swamp- Dark Ritual- Hypnotic Specter and attacks with the Royal and Knight. Then I play Scrubland - Mox Jet - Balance. I'll send three cards to the graveyard so we both have 1 card in hand and Chefke send his creatures to the graveyard. I can't remember what I kept. On Chefke's turn he plays a Swamp and another Hyppie grrrrrrr.... The praying has started and I buy a Bolt which I can't cast. Hyppie attacks and I lose the Bolt. After that I buy a Sedge Troll which has to take the same route and the turn after I again buy a Bolt. In the meanwhile, more Black creatures hit the board and I lose. Bloody Hell, lets switch the Terror at least for CoP: Black and try it again. Game 2 and 3 the CoP does the work and with Disenchant I blow up his Disks before it does his job. So that's one.

Narrow first round escape

We get another Beer and I check my phone. Hey, it's Reindeer with a video message which he sent me every year to wish me luck. This time in Dutch! "Hey Kut, ik wens jou een verdomd gaaf toernooi en hoop je snel weer te ontmoeten. Alle goeds en tot snel MAASKANTJEEEEEEEEE".

Fickenschnitzeltittenmachen!!!

And I finally receive the beer coaster which Mari brought from Legion Urborg Mountain Madness.

It should be nice to one day have all 3 coasters shine at the Dwarven Warriors Cup. Maybe next year???

Round 2 I play on stream against Edo. He drinks every tournament 24 liters of Chocomel and because of that he can drive me to the most tournaments. In the past months we both got hit by Covid-19 and Edo even had to stay in the hospital. So we toasted that we are lucky to stay alive and the battle begins. During the weekend I toasted with everybody with different excuses but with the same words every time "let's drink on that" Purpleeeeeeeeeee.... If you want to see our battle you can watch it soon on Timmy Talks.

If you played on stream you can point somebody else who's next. I ask Edo if he agrees that I choose Peter Bonthuis. Edo react with "good choice". Peter is my Cult hero in our Dutch community, some kind of an Eddie the Eagle to me. But do not underestimate him, he has his own Law firm and sick cowboy boots.

It's time for lunch. Marijke made more than 100 sandwiches and they’re delicious. The one with brie, walnut and honey is my favorite by far. Edo stops eating when he hits number 11, whoohaaaa that's a Warrior!

Lunchhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Round 3 I play against Koos Cramer. I'm always having a great time with Koos and I love his sense of humor.

What a brilliant deck from Koos Cramer!

Because he played an extremely long game against Dyan in round 2 I gamble that my deck is faster so I hit him as hard and fast as I could. During our first game I discover that he plays Karma main, oops. But the Trolls and Bolts do their job. I win with 2-0.

Round 4 I'm paired against the other Cramer, Nick. Wow what a nice pairing!!! We find a nice quite place in the kitchen and I decide to do the same strategy as with Koos. And it worked again 2-0!

OK, so last round of Swiss. Next opponent is Juan. The one who wins this is for 100% sure in the top-8. After we both win one the next one is exiting. Juan opens with Mountain - Sol Ring - and 2 Black Vise. I go to 14 and open with only a land. Turn 2 Juan plays another Mountain - Chaos Orb and his third Black Vise, WTF!! He activates the Orb and when I kick him hard under the table he decides to let my wife do the flipping. Well..... she's still my wife. Juan passes the turn and I'll go to 5. I play my second land, Disenchant one of the Vises and find an excuse to go to the bar. I drink 4 Tequila, walk back and let him see the finger. Juancho the Force enters the top 8! I finish at the tenth place.

Hmmm… Who will then stop Dyan? A quick look finds out that there are enough Warriors besides Dyan. Before the tournament started I predicted that the final this year goes to Roy and Ron. Both very good players. But secretly I hope that Purple wins and rings his bell. Every time when he cast his Kormus Bell he rings AWESOME!

Ring Ring a Kormus Bell

But first; time for dinner. Our local butcher brings a warm buffet and we attack like wolves.

Warm Buffet for the Warriors!

During the top-8 Richard lets me see his beer coaster for today. I already spotted it several times during the tournament and he suggests to play for it. Best of 5 will take the coaster down. Hmmm... OK I really want to win this coaster so I settle on my favorite place. We both drank a lot during the day so we play fast. In less than a half hour it's 3-0 so the Dwarf is mine! Whoohooooo!

The coaster from Richard Veenman on top of his brothers

I did not watch a single game of the top 8 and when I look to the final table I spot Dyan against Evert. Evert???? Didn't he play Rock Hydra's???? In the end Dyan becomes 3yan. What a Hero!!!!

Solid as a Rock Hydra - Evert Visser

Dy’s Trollion Angel (+1 Volcanic, -1 Badlands, sideboard present but not pictured)

Juancho the forces finish third and the rats complete the top 4.

Evert Visser, 3yan de Rochement, Juancho the Force

Juan’s Red Green Granite – Elemental deck.

Two years back Anne Joldersma asked me if he could play limitless Rats. This year The Plague brings him in to the Top 4!

Purple takes down "Best Bartender in 4000"

OK but the real price of the tournament is the "Fuck You Trophy". Every year a month before the tournament starts I already order the name tag. I gather everybody together and let them know that the music that I start is the riddle for who wins the trophy.

I start Flamman & Abraxas - I'll Be Your Only Friend. I wait a little and then my eyes turn slowly towards Wilfred "the Schnitzeltank" and give him the trophy. Every edition he makes an awesome shirt for the DWC. This year we are friends for 30 years and I will admit: I'm not the easiest person to be friends with. Maybe that's the reason he (tries to) drink so much hehehe....

The Champion of Dwarven Warriors Cup 4

It's around 11 o'clock in the evening and some players leave because they have to go to the church next morning or something. The Spaniards leave and tell me that they have a surprise for me. Wednesday at 10 a.m. sharp they will pick me up for a 2 days surprise. Another adventure in the making?

Another hour later, we land in our garden house with 10 Warriors and I close the doors. Time for music Baby!!! Richard, Henk and Wilfred like the same kind of shit as I do. Happy hardcore alternating with André Hazes. Like the tournament last October in Düsseldorf, Michael stays with us and is wondering why we are so crazy. He smiles his pretty white teeth and laughs with us. Crazy Dutch people... The clock hits again 5 in the morning and we go to bed. It's a wrap.. DWC 2021 has come to its ending.

Well of course there is Sunday morning breakfast for the people that managed to wake up. David made us a heavy anti-hangover start of the day. Biscuits and gravy. That went down well!! Thanks mate!  While the last people said goodbye, I had a coffee with Marijke and just enjoyed what had overcome us again. Thanks all, it has been a wonderful weekend!!

...

Destination Nowhere.

Wednesday 10 a.m. Nick Cramer arrives to join me with the Spaniards. We take a coffee and wait a bit. And another coffee and wait some more… Tranquillo, Tranquillo. By 11:30 a.m. we hear a car stopping and right away the feeling is good. Spain just arrived! OLIIIIII! No time to waste so we squeeze five people in the car and hit the road. I have no idea where the trip is going, I brought my wind jacket, as Purple asked me.  Sky diving? Boat trip? I see the border of Belgium passing and signs of Antwerp are passing. we. do. not. stop. WTF?

After some more miles, we slow down in BRUGGE!  My kind of town (hehe) The three amigo's arranged a 3 floor apartment in the city center. Great!!

Babe magnet

First thing to do is buy some beer and fill up the fridge. After that we go into town and drink several craft beers.  Purple knows a bar which he wants to visit but even with navigation we cannot find it.

To my surprise he calls a lady in Spain and she guides us to it. I don't know what was more special, the beer, or finding this pub :) In the evening we go back to the apartment and Juan prepares a super superlekkere plate of pasta. (if you know Juan learning dutch, everything is super super) After that we drink and play magic. Great night, great magic, great people. This lead to great ideas: We somehow agreed to play soccer against each other in Onderdendam. (Please google-maps this place. Hold on to the edge of the earth over here.) Koos will join, he lives in this lovely little town and he will arrange an indoor play field where Spain-Holland will meet each other... Monday we're gonna play!

Destination Nowhere Cup.

This is the day we've all been waiting for. We find out that the Spaniards take it very seriously. They practiced 2 days in a park and even watched a live soccer match to find out how the Dutch play. I drive with the Spaniards to Onderdendam. From 4000 it's a 2 hour drive with the Dwarven Warrior car. During the trip they speak in Spanish and talk about their tactics. What they don't know is that I watched some Spanish lessons on Youtube. More or less I now can figure out how they wanna play. And I hear a lot of time "in the baskosss"  When we finally get there and see their backpacks I hope that there are separate showers after the match or I let one of the Cramers drop the soap.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The first team to make 25 goals is the winner and can tease the other for a year. Our plan is to let them score 24 goals and then crush them. But we find out that they can really play some soccer. The whole game we try to make a dent in their score, but we had no chance... At the score of 23-14 Nick gets an injury and can't play anymore. Really... no joke. So we stop the match and hit the showers. With sore muscles and big smiles we leave the sports arena... I think we need a beer... or two...  Amigos speciale on tour, what a memory for life.

The Destination Nowhere prices

The narrow passage to Bar De Garre

Having fun in Brugge

Volendam vs. Ajax