Top 6 Old School Art Details You Can't Unsee (Even If You Want To)

Merry Hollymas!
So there's been a handfull technical issues reported on the blag in the last few months. Text getting too small on desktop, inability to write characters like "$", issues when posting comments, and constant cookie confirmation requests. I suspected this had to do with the theme we used; one that had not been updated for half a decade or so. I assume it is no longer supported by the platform, and as such bugs kept popping up. So I updated the theme to something slightly more supported. To commemorate this sudden change in visual style, we now have an excellent excuse to write a full-on click-bait style listicle. If we can go 14th century Syrian folktale, we most certainly can go Buzzfeed. Let's roll!

"Art is in the eye of the beholder" is a popular saying among those unfamiliar with quotes. But instead of arguing the subjectiveness of beauty, I think that it is time to question the beholders. More like beer holders, amirite? I bet more than one of us have looked at art of the first expansions for a couple of decades and still missed some of the major things going on. Like...

6. God's Angry Face (and a butt)

Wrath of God is possibly the single most iconic mass removal in the game. The art is classic: the sky explodes clearing away the clouds, and below we see a battlefield where hardcore orcs and men are destroyed alike. That is how I used to see it at least; as cool guys aren't supposed to look at explosions I just assumed there was one. Given a second look, this all fall apart. The opening in the clouds shows no explosion, but the stern face of Jehova using his god-laser powers to smite the heathens down below. And the most prominently featured body in the art is neither the orc nor the power ballad guy above him, but rather a guy in the right corner casually sporting a high-fantasy leather thong.

5. Only Glory Muscles, No Leg Work

Keldon Warlord brings some proper heavy metal to the table. A helmet to put any moose-themed super villan into submission, an upper body that would be deemed over the top in Fist of the North Star, and a sword for Final Fantasy weapon designers to look at in awe. He even got a dragon skull or something as a shoulder pad. Dude doesn't even care that the world is burning behind him. Ain't got time, so much shady shit to do. One thing he probably won't do however, is take a leg pass at the gym. Clearly his focus has been glory muscles. Something seriously weird going on below his belt if we opt to lower our gaze. His entire leg is shorter than the handle of his sword. I truly understand why he needs a horse.

 3. There's a Fetus in the Middle of Living Wall

Uhm, yeah, I guess the title says it? In case you've missed it, there's a huge fetus in the middle of Living Wall. Writing listicles is dumb. Maybe next entry is better.

3. An Angry Alien Hides in the Minotaur's Nose


Aahh, I see it now. The nostrils are like it's eyes, right? That's kinda funny I guess. And hard to unsee. Good one, me.

2. Some Dude Got Seriously Stuck in the Maze

It seems like I gave up after the second entry, and now I'm just winging. Not entirely unlike most other listicles I've read though, so there's always that. And why did we pick six cards? That's such a random number. On the plus side, we've referenced butts, anime, and a video game already, so I think we can check off the most important parts writing a post in this format. Whatever comes after is gravy.

So, I'm fairly certain there's a dude stuck in the Maze of It. He's trying to push through one of the intestine thingies in the "brain". Bending his head backwards and looking to be in some distress over the situation. Now that's unsettling. I used my mad paint skills to outline him.

1. That's No Dragon Egg, It's an Apple Turning Into a Skull 

Quick, what is this:
A) Half a human skull. B) Some dragon lizard thingie C) A baby wyvern inside an egg D) All of the above

If you answered B) or C), congratulations! You are in good company.

Lure was the kind of art that never made sense to me. How would that wyvern egg act as lure? Well, turns out it is no dragon lizard thingie, it is in fact an apple. The top "head" is a leaf from the apple stalk. Apples are solid lures, as we've learned from various bastardizations of the Bible and a plethora of folk tales. But this is no ordinary apple, this is a dangerous apple, slowly morphing into the shape of a skull (with a very sharp cheekbone, no less).

Bonus Entry: Wasteland is Representing

 That tree is clearly bitter and doing a gang sign. The look is uncanny.

OK, that's enough of that. Next time we're back with our yearly retrospective, as is tradition. Enjoy the holidays 'til then!


  1. Laughed out loud on the Minotaur. I can’t I see it now. That’s a funny one.


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